


The Emptiness of Self-Loss

by GidgTheSneedy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: "Future" Karl Jacobs, Angst, Currently Time Travelling Karl Jacobs, Drabble, Gen, Loss of Identity, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, POSSIBLE SPOLIERS FOR TALES FROM THE SMP - THE MASQUERADE, Time Loop, Time Travel, deaths more like, kind of?, plural :D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GidgTheSneedy/pseuds/GidgTheSneedy
Summary: The Man watches the Boy continue the cycle. Why does it feel like he's done it before?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	The Emptiness of Self-Loss

Each time the ~~he~~ the Boy appeared in the In-Between as a result of his travels, ~~Karl~~ the Man could practically feel the confusion, loss, and dwindling hope radiating off the boy. ~~(or was he feeling it at the same time? the loss of.. of..? who was he who were his friends who was he who who WHO?)~~.

  
~~Karl~~ The Man could only hope that the advice of keeping true to thyself could aid the Boy's swirling thoughts. ~~(he ignored how he vaguely remembers the same thoughts swirling within his own mind, the desperation to ..save? overtaking the want to preserve himself..... he ignored the reminder that this loop was endless, ignored that the next variation of ???? would suffer through and through- oh god please why why why end this please i just wanted to save them)~~

This time however, the Boy's eyes looked dull. Dead. Did the boy ~~finally~~ lose himself? ~~(Just like he.. I.. he... I.. did? ME ME ME HIM HIM HIM)~~

Whimpers started to pour from the boys mouth. ~~Karl~~ The Man watched as ~~Karl~~ the Boy crumbled to floor with vague whispers of "no, no, no _nonononono_ -" with the occasional whispered ramble of "not Tubbo, _nonono_ -" "Sapnap, why, _oh god_ -" "Dream, how? why, _whywhywhywhy_ -" ~~(He pretended he didn't feel the rising sorrow that mounted upon his chest at the names- he thinks the words were names, it's the only reason why he thinks of unattended bee hives and a bloody headband that he vaguely associated with those words.. maybe a new language? he'd have to figure it out later.. it's not like he doesn't have the time- or the fear, resentment, and disappointment that came with hearing the word dream- why does he remember porcelain and green rather than the clouds that occupy his dreams? why does he remember the cold touch of obsidian that lingered with the warmth of lava when he heard the word dream? that sounds more like a nightmare...)~~

The Man and the Boy within the halls of the In-Between, tainted to stay in this cycle of awareness, warnings, and acceptance. It's a good thing the Man watched the Boy. He's heard of how empty it feels to lose one's self. ~~(He ignores how he remembers hearing it from books within a white palace, and was truly taught it by experiencing the cycle of loss that always starts with himself.)~~

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed the angst! rivalstwt discord saw it first o3o
> 
> i might be posting a very long theory on my twitter soon: @SneedyGidg


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